Most people think of their life as having a starting point (birth), and an ending point (death), with lots of events and stories to fill the gap between them. And while I agree with that to some degree, I am very quickly coming to the conclusion that there has to be another way for some of us to look at life.
Let me start with the basics of why I am considering starting this blog. Mainly... I need a new starting point.
Right now in my life... I feel like I'm in a rut. I have been unemployed for 6 months. I am becoming more and more worried about my health and my weight. And I just don't feel as happy and positive as I have always tried to be.
I NEED A FRESH START!!!
I need to get that spark back in my life so I can feel that happiness again. Maybe this blog can be where it all begins.
I've never been much of a writer, but with new beginnings comes new challenges. Over the last couple months I have been toying around with the idea of starting a podcast. As much fun as that might be, I think I need to start smaller. Besides... podcasts with only one person and no real focus (yet) wouldn't be the most entertaining thing. Eventually, I might be able to work up to something like that, or an internet video, but for now... a blog can be a starting point.
The most difficult thing for me to start is the more life threatening aspect that needs work... my weight and health. For YEARS I have just accepted the fact that I am a big guy. I wasn't unhappy about it, and for the most part, it didn't affect my daily life. I'm starting to see that change. I am admitting here and now that I'm not the most "active" person in the world (duh... lol). Not having a job really seems to have affected that even more than normal. I spend most of my days sitting in front of the computer, surfing the internet, applying for jobs that don't seem to be interested in me, playing games... things like that... I'm not proud of my inactive life. I want to change that... but the starting point is what is difficult. THAT is going to change. For those of you who are probably thinking "he probably eats everything he sees, and THAT is why he is so big", I can honestly say you are wrong. Now I'm not saying that I never eat unhealthy things... But, most of you would probably be surprised at how little I eat. I try to cook well balanced meals, and I really don't eat huge portions. I usually only eat 2 meals a day (BIG mistake, I know). A big problem that I have is that I am an insomniac. More specifically I am pretty sure I have "Delayed sleep phase disorder" (look it up... it's pretty fascinating). My internal clock just doesn't run at the same time as "normal" society. On average, I go to bed between 4 and 5am, and get up around noon. Now, as bad as "sleeping till noon" sounds, I will point out that I am sleeping a "normal" 7-8 hours a "night". I have tried to change this, and go to bed earlier, but that is when problems usually occur. Here's an example... If I go to bed before midnight, I usually am awake within a couple hours, and can't sleep for another 8 or 10 hours... The next day, I am groggy, unhappy, and generally just not fun to be around. This has made exercising even more challenging. However, somewhere deep down, I AM going to motivate myself to try. Its NOT going to be easy... I'm NOT going to enjoy every step of the process... but I HAVE to do it. For me to be at a comfortable weight, my goal is to lose at least 100lbs. I don't even know if that is possible, but I have to try. I know it is going to take a LONG time, but this is a life long change that needs to happen.
Wish me luck internet world... I'm going to need it!
P.S. This blog will NOT be just about me moaning and complaining about life... future ideas are movie reviews, vacation stories, fun stories from my life... things like that. I still want to be the fun, entertaining guy you all know and love... I hope... lol
Josh-thanks for being transparent and open. Jon and I are also going through a bit of a "starting over" time as well. We got into too much debt having rentals, and now we are trying to take care of that and sell the rentals. We will be praying for you. One thing I will say in your efforts is we have also had a bit of a food "start over" as well. Have you seen the movie Fat Head? It's on Netflix--thought provoking. Then, the book "Why We Get Fat and What to Do About It," by Gary Taubes goes into things even further. That book has taught me many things, and I have to say that we have been dropping pounds without feeling hungry or counting calories. The library has it.
ReplyDeleteI commented on your FB, but realize now that it did not carry over to this blog. We CAN do this babe!!! I am here every little step of the way. I love the way you write. You would be a great columnist. I think Blogs are fun and it is a great way to get out everything you want to say. :-)
ReplyDeleteHey mister! First, some really great tools are out there to help you. Look in to Spark People. It is a social community of folks working toward healthier lifestyles. You can log your food, and your exercise, it gives you a daily calorie goal (to not go over OR under). You can also join discussion boards and forums and join challenges. It is really helpful for giving you kinda anonymous support and accountability. Also, my husband is very similar to you, sleepwise. It will be hard for you to keep a regular 9-5 jobs hours, but there are lots of jobs that cater to weird sleepers like you! Lol! Also, if it is something you want to change, maybe try going to sleep a half hout earlier for a week or two, and then a half hour earlier that that. Sleep is a pattern, you don't want to just quit it cold turkey, cuz it leaves you messed up (like going to bed at midnight does to you) but a very slow, gradual change is totally doable. Also, tis the season for grilling! Makes for some seriously yummy and healthy food! Plus, WAY fewer dishes to wash! yay!! Anyway, didn't mean to write you a book, you just seem to be on a journey I am super familiar with! I have lost 13.2 pounds, and while that is not a ton of weight yet, I already feel so much better!
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